Part one, stealth lie detection tactics for detecting deceit and gathering information, tactic three,
the integrity testers.
If you catch a person in one lie, it makes good sense to question everything else that person has said
or will say to you.
With this tactic, you can find out if you're dealing with a person of integrity or if he's willing
to say or do anything to convince you of something that simply isn't true.
And there are many ways to apply this technique.
For example, let's say that you're looking to buy a car and the salesperson says you must act quickly
because two other people have looked at this exact same car and the last one they've got in stock.
Sound familiar?
So you would say something such as, I hear this model retains its value better than any others, or
isn't it true that they're going to raise the prices significantly and next year's model?
These are all statements an honest salesperson will question if he or she hasn't heard of it.
However, if your salesperson is quick to agree with you, it means that he would say almost anything
to make the sale, which also means that is probably doesn't necessarily have your best interest at
heart and maybe doesn't have anyone else looking at the car, even though he claimed otherwise.
For example, a response such as, oh, I didn't hear that or I'd have to check that out, are honest
statements from an honest person.
However, if he just quickly agrees with you or just ignores the question altogether, then he's likely
only interested in making the sale.
You see, by forcing him to tell you something that is against his own best interests, you can easily
ascertain his level of integrity.
Let's take another example.
Let's say that your travel agent suggests the five day cruise getaway vacation.
Now you're looking to really let loose you want a trip that's going to be nonstop fun, but you're not
sure if she's pushing this package because the commission on it is better than the other packages or
if it really is a great deal for you.
So you would say something such as the brochure looks great.
Sandy, I just want to be sure that this is not one of those non-stop party boats.
I'm looking for some rest and relaxation.
Is this that kind of trip?
By asking your question this way, you will know the intentions of your travel agent and the answer
to your question, if she answers yes, then you know that the cruise is not for you or she's lying
to get your business.
Either way, you're not going to book this cruise through this travel agent only by her telling you
things, something that she thinks that you don't want to hear will she establish herself as trustworthy
and honest.
And you will have confirmed that this is, in fact, the cruise that you want to go on and that you're
dealing with the travel agent that you can trust.
Let's take another example.
You asked your waiter for decaffeinated coffee, and five minutes later the busboy comes by with a filled
cup of coffee.
We've all been there.
So you would simply say this is regular coffee, right?
If he confirms that it is either he doesn't care enough to know for sure or it really is regular.
Either way, you know that you may not want to be drinking that cup of coffee because it's not what
you asked for.
However, should he tell you that?
No, I'm sorry.
It's decaffeinated.
Something he thinks that you don't want to hear, then you can be pretty sure that what you're getting
is what you originally asked for.
Now, sometimes you may not get the truth because a person simply doesn't care enough.
Apathy can be very difficult to deal with, and fewer things are more frustrating than dealing with
someone who just doesn't give a darn.
Because you don't have a whole lot of leverage to work with, so the trick here is to gain more leverage
so you've got more bargaining power.
And here's how this technique works.
You simply have to change the equation so that he's got something more at stake.
The technique is the ultimate apathy, buster.
Let's see how this works.
You take your car to the mechanic and he tells you it'll be fixed by Friday.
No worries.
But you just know something is going to happen and it's going to be sitting in the garage all weekend.
What do you do?
So you would say something such as, OK, Joe, tomorrow's fine, just so you know, my wife is pregnant
and she's due any day.
That's our only car, so if you can think of any reason why it may not be ready on Friday, you've really
got to let me know now.
Let's take one more illustration.
You ask the waiter if there's MSG in your salad.
That's an additive that a lot of people are allergic to.
And he tells, you know, no MSG, but he doesn't really seem terribly convincing.
And you want to make sure, therefore, you would say something as, OK, Albert, that's fine.
Just so you know, I'm deathly allergic to MSG one forkful and off to the hospital.
I go after hearing this.
Do you think Albert may want to double check with the chef, notice that the equation changes in these
two scenarios?
Initially, neither the mechanic nor the waiter might have been terribly concerned about your schedule
or where you're eating.
However, their apathy quickly gives way to concern because then now they're dealing with more than
just an inconvenience.
Simply change the stakes and the leverage is yours.
Now, you can turn up the heat with this strategy simply by taking a step closer to the person and looking
him directly in the eyes.
And then you make your assertion, if he's being honest, then he won't become flustered.
But if he's lying or is not sure, he's going to feel trapped, guilty and worried that you may be onto
him emotionally.
When you make eye contact with somebody, it increases the level of intimacy and it makes it harder
for them to tell you something that may not be true, because inside the feeling, a degree of guilt.
So, again, before you make your assertion, simply step in, lock him in the eyes and say the same
words.
And if there's any shot that he's not being 100 percent truthful, he's going to adjust his story to
become more in line with the truth strategy to Future Tense.
This strategy will allow for you to gauge a person's integrity, commitment and honesty with respect
to any future event or situation.
The following examples illustrates a process that is becoming very popular with employee screening tests.
The following questions are asked the prospective employee to determine if he or she is an honest person.
Let me ask you this question.
If you really want the job, how would you answer the following questions?
One.
Have you ever cheated on an exam?
Two, have you ever run through a stop sign?
Three, Do you have a friend who has ever shoplifted before?
Have you ever had thoughts of harming someone that had hurt you?
Now, many of us would answer yes to these questions, and that is precisely the answer a prospective
employee is looking for.
Why?
Because the honest answer is yes.
For most of us, the employers task is finding out who are honest about it.
Stealing a pack of gum when you were nine years old doesn't make you a bad person or an undesirable
employee.
But lying about it today does.
And it speaks to your integrity and commitment to the truth.
Today, the benefit of the strategy is that you'll learn what kind of person you're dealing with and
what is true.
Intentions are.
For example, let's say that Martha's teenage son, who has been away from home and living on the streets
for the past three years, wants to come home now knowing that her son is addicted to heroin, for example,
she questions his sincerity because she's been down this road before with him.
Now, she could say that he could move back home, but only if he enrolls in a drug rehabilitation program.
And he'll probably agree to this whether he has plans to or not.
If he's sincere, of course, he'll say yes.
And if he's lying is also likely to agree to this.
And this doesn't give Martha any indication of her son's true intentions.
But Martha has taken this course and instead she tells her son that he can move back, but only if he
quits cold turkey and starts a job the minute he's back home.
Her son's answer will reveal his commitment to getting well, which is the real concern for her now.
Of course, her son can't get rid of his addiction instantly and get to work the same day, let alone
the same week or month.
So if he indicates that he will she knows that he's lying about his intention to get well.
However, if he says that he will enroll in a program and he'll get a job when he's clean and so on,
she knows that he is sincere in his pursuit of wellness.
When you seek to gauge a person's honesty and commitment, propose a solution that you know is too difficult.
If he acknowledges the difficulty of the solution, he's likely earnest in his desire to reach the specified
outcome.
But if he readily agrees to it, then he has ulterior motives and is less pure with his intentions.