Part two signs of deceit, the four telltale signs of deceit sign three impression management, playing
it too cool when a person is lying but tries to appear otherwise.
This leads to what's called perception management, a person's attempt to present in a certain way an
image in order to convey the right effect.
The thing about this, though, is that the person almost always overcompensates and if you look for
it, it can be glaringly obvious.
Remember, the truthful person is not interested in how he's coming across.
He is unconcerned with his image.
Unlike his deceptive counterpart, who is focused solely on other's impression of him.
The game of poker offers an apt illustration.
For example, a card player bets heavily and raises the pot.
Does he have the cards or simply guts?
When bluffing in a poker hand, he wants to show that he's not timid.
He might put his money in very quickly, but if he does have a good hand, what might he do?
He might deliberate a bit, putting it in slowly, showing he's not really sure about his hand.
Poker professionals know that a bluffing person will give the impression that he has a strong hand while
the person with a strong hand will often give the impression that he is a weakened.
When people pretend to be confident in a poker hand or in the real world, they manipulate how confident
they appear by trying to create the opposite impression of how they truly feel again, while bluffing
and trying to appear confident, a player bets quickly.
And when he has a good hand, he may actually wait a moment or two pretending he's thinking about what
he should do.
The principle applies in almost every situation you will observe signs of impression management in three
main areas, No.
One overt display of thoughtfulness and sincerity.
For example, in law enforcement, we know that a person who is guilty will often show deliberate,
pensive displays, such as stroking or tapping his chin heel activists.
He's trying to give serious thought to the question you're asking.
Even the simplest of questions in an attempt to appear as if he's trying to be very, very helpful and
giving serious thought to what you're saying, to overt appearance of being calm and confident.
Any superfluous gesture in a serious situation is a sign that the person is trying to act calm and confident.
For instance, once again, in law enforcement, we know that a subject may yawn to show that he's relaxed,
calm or even bored.
If the person is sitting, he may stretch out his arms, covering more territory, as if to demonstrate
comfort and a feeling of great ease.
Or the subject may be busy picking off lint, trying to show he's preoccupied with something trivial
and clearly can't be worried.
The only problem is that someone who is wrongly accused will be quite indignant and not pay attention
to such inconsequential activities, nor be engaged in promoting the quote unquote right image.
Overtly polite and gracious.
For example, a detective is meeting with the parents of a young girl who appears to have been kidnapped.
And in fact, the detective tells the husband that the girl may unfortunately already be dead.
Shortly afterward, the detective hands the husband a cup of coffee, and he responds with something
such as, Oh, thanks very much.
I really appreciate this.
After a day like today, I really need a cup of coffee.
He is engaging in perception management and trying to convey that he is polite, considerate and well-mannered,
meaning the kind of person who would never harm a flea, let alone his own child.
Now, good manners is one thing, and it's appropriate.
But an inappropriate level of politeness is a waving red flag.